Who Really Ran Over Brian?
by EverlastingEvanescence
Summary: There is one mystery that plagues the Family Guy fandom; who ran over Brian in "Life of Brian"? This little piece of fiction explains...something. Merry Christmas Eve.


Who Really Ran Over Brian?

"Hey, thanks for saving me back there, Stewie," Brian said, with genuine thankfulness and happiness in his voice. Stewie smiled back at his best friend. Despite Brian being seen by many as an asshole, douchebag, motherfucker, shit face, fucktard, and everything in between, Stewie saw the side of him that people have neglected. The side that appreciated everything he was given, the side that was always there for Stewie when he needed a shoulder to cry on, and the side that always made it fun to go on crazy adventures. "Anytime, buddy," Stewie said before giving Brian a big hug.

Brian gave a warm smile and hugged him back. Just then, a question trickled in the back of Brian's mind. "Wait, so, who tried to run me over?" Brian asked. Stewie let go of Brian realizing that he was right; they needed to find who was responsible for this so that they could be brought to justice. Stewie saw that the car was, for some reason, still parked in the street in front of their house, and Stewie ran outside to confront the man who tried to hurt his best friend. Stewie ran to the car, just as the driver side door opened. The driver came out, revealing the driver to be…

…

…

…

…RIKISHI!

"Wait, Rikishi? Like…WWE fat dancer Rikishi?" Stewie asked, with Brian looking on with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. "But…why?" Brian asked once he regained his composure. Rikishi closed the door to his car before approaching Stewie and Brian. "I did it…for Bob's Burgers," Rikishi stated. Stewie and Brian looked at each other with confused looks on their faces. "What?" they both asked.

"You two and your crappy show have been giving adult shows bad names. And thanks to you, an intelligent show like Bob's Burgers is being thrown to the wayside by your shit. So, I was doing the world a favor by trying to take you all out one by one with a car," Rikishi stated. Brian and Stewie just kept looking at him, and they started to go back into the house to call someone, but Rikishi got back into the car, and started it again.

Just then, Joe came out of his house, and saw Rikishi turning the car towards Brian, Stewie, and the Griffin house. Joe started heading towards Rikishi with a gun, and shot the tires. Rikishi then kicked open the car door, and started running off, but Joe started chasing after him. Rikishi then turned around, and hit a savate kick to Joe's face. Just as Rikishi was about to leave, Brian came from out of nowhere, and hit Rikishi with a sledgehammer, knocking him out. Joe then got up, mounted on Rikishi, ans started punching him in the face.

As Joe continued to beat up Rikishi, Brian tapped Joe's shoulder. "Uhh…Joe, I think he's been subdued," Brian said before Joe pushed him out of the way. "It's Quahog police protocol; while waiting for backup, beat the shit out of the culprit!" Joe yelled as he continued to punch Rikishi.

 **Extra…**

 **Billy Gunn was heading towards the car that was going to run over Brian. Just then, Vince McMahon pulled Billy Gunn away. "Uh…Billy, we've had a change of plans. Some of the boys in the back said that you were being an asshole, so I've decided to get someone else," Vince said. This made Billy angry, causing him to kick the car in frustration.**

 **"WHO? Who do you have to replace me?" Billy asked before being turned around by Rikishi. Rikishi just glared at him, causing Billy to leave and give Vince the keys to the car. Rikishi gave a smirk, and nodded at Vince before getting into the car.**

 **The End…**

Yes, this is just a joke. I mean, I do hate Family Guy, but I saw a comment on Mr. Enter's video on "Life of Brian", saying that Rikishi did it. So, I decided to make a story about it. The thing about Billy Gunn is true; I heard that Billy Gunn was originally the one who was supposed to run Stone Cold and get a main event push, but due to his backstage attitude, the plans were changed and the identity of the driver was given to Rikishi. So…Merry Christmas Eve!


End file.
